EP23: Learning to Listen | Exhaustion of the Lie and the Purpose of Staying Teachable with Joe Singer
“The biggest fight I’ve ever fought in my life was with myself.”
When Joe Singer texted his boss at a beer distribution company to admit he was an alcoholic, he expected to lose his livelihood. Instead, he was met with a simple: “Welcome to Step One.” It was a moment of radical transparency that redefined Joe’s relationship with his work and himself.
In this raw and un-sugarcoated conversation, I sit down with Joe to discuss the transition from being a liar by trade to the "truth guy." We explore the exhaustion of playing "social media chess" with his own brain and how he navigated the early days of sobriety while working surrounded by the very thing that nearly broke him.
What’s Inside the Episode:
The Friction of the Facade: Joe breaks down why "perfecting the lie" is a mental marathon that leaves you drained, and how radical honesty at work—even in a beer distribution center—became his greatest shield.
The Non-Recovery Partner Dynamic: A vulnerable look at the reality of staying sober when your partner is not in recovery, focusing on the internal shift required to maintain your own sobriety and the boundaries necessary when alcohol remains in the home.
The "I Thought" vs. "I Stopped" Rule: Joe’s masterclass in relapse prevention, identifying the exact moment we begin to manipulate ourselves and why "staying in motion" is the only way to outpace the darkness.
“Depression loves a stationary object.” Joe reminds us that while our own heads are a "mighty big place to live," the secret is staying in motion. From the quiet focus of his woodshop to the grounding responsibility of a new dog, this episode is about finding the purpose of staying teachable, opening the blinds, and sticking to the recipe.
00:00 Journey to Recovery: Joe's Story
04:39 Returning to Work in Recovery
10:17 Honesty, Lying and Self-Deception
19:41 Self-Respect and Personal Growth
24:35 Self-Care Practices + Understanding Emotional Relapse
33:06 The Impact of Chaos on Mental Health
44:08 Understanding Divinity and Higher Power
49:49 The Journey of Staying Teachable
55:14 Navigating Feelings and Empathy
59:11 Mixed-Recovery Relationships
01:02:18 Finding Hope and Purpose
01:08:41 Lessons from the Journey
