EP20: Resiliency, Reclaimed | The Fire and the Joy of a New Life with Haven Thomas
"We want what you guys are on!"
That’s what a young couple told today’s guest Haven Thomas while she was dancing sober at a club with her partner. Their secret? No "magic potions"—just recovery, better company, and a reclaimed sense of self.
One of the biggest hurdles to starting recovery is the fear that life is about to become stiff, bitter, and boring. In this episode, Haven and I dismantle that myth. From roller skating at Pride to seeing UK DJs in Milwaukee, we talk about how we traded "gripping" onto a life of peril for a life of genuine, hilarious, and memorable fun.
Main highlights from our conversation:
The "99% Sober" Trap: Why keeping one foot in and one foot out is the most exhausting way to live, and why "taking it off the table" is the only way to find true clarity.
The Exit Strategy: The tactical power of giving yourself permission to leave any situation that "sucks"—and why having your own car is a sobriety superpower.
The 100% Success Rate: A powerful perspective on resiliency—remembering that no matter how many "crazy positions" you’ve been in, you have a perfect record of figuring it out so far.
Haven’s story is proof that you don't have to lose your "fire" to find your peace. You don’t have to be in peril to choose a better path—you just have to be willing to take the old one off the table.
02:09 Defining Resiliency and the "Fire" Within
09:15 Divine Intervention and Moments of Clarity
13:13 Dismantling the Myth of the "Boring" Sober Life
19:14 ADHD, Autonomy, and Creating Your Own Path
27:54 Vulnerability vs. Anonymity in Recovery
41:40 "We Want What You’re On": Rediscovering Joy
46:52 The Exit Strategy: A Sobriety Superpower
55:55 Finding Your Place in Recovery
